


Lost and found

by Cirkne



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, lil bit of angst but like, mentions of abuse tho, small amount, trans kyoutani, trans oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:23:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3436811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirkne/pseuds/Cirkne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa is lost until Iwaizumi finds him and then they find their way to loving each other. Now, there's someone else to guide.</p><p> </p><p>Or the one where Oikawa is trans and in love with Iwaizumi when he finds out that Kyoutani is also trans and in love with Iwaizumi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and found

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember how this was born but I'm glad I decided to write it.
> 
> [Here on tumblr](http://tadaffodil.tumblr.com/post/112082432037/lost-and-found)
> 
>  
> 
> [This now has a second part of sorts](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4159047)

It begins with Tooru and Iwaizumi kissing. Or, it begins with them meeting back when they were just kids and their conversations were limited by how little they understood then.

It’s “Come look at the stars with me” before it’s “I love you”. “Wanna play volleyball?” before “Let’s get to practice.” They grow up together, wishing upon shooting stars changes to dreams and ambitions. Iwaizumi asks why Tooru uses the girl’s bathroom and they don’t talk for two days.

When they finally do, “It’s ok,” Iwaizumi promises. “You can be whoever you want.” Tooru hugs him and sobs. It’s ugly and gross but that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

"Don’t tell your mom." Tooru whispers. "She won’t understand." Iwaizumi nods. They eat ice cream at Tooru’s house and his brothers tease them but still call Tooru their little brother. When Iwaizumi’s mom comes to pick him up that evening, Tooru cries again.

It’s a long fight until they let Tooru on the boys’ volleyball team but when they do, Iwaizumi stands beside him and promises there’s nothing to be afraid off. It turns out there’s a lot to be afraid off but it’s mostly there being someone better at the thing he does best instead of being called a girl when he is not.

Tooru wins best setter award and he smiles trough the tears even if everything’s blurry. His brothers help him hang the award above his bed and his sister promises him her room when she leaves for college.

When he starts high school, the fight for a place on the boys’ team is a lot shorter because the current captain sees how good Tooru is. Iwaizumi tries to make him stop training so hard but it doesn’t work. They call each other on nights when the stars are most visible and Tooru admits his fears to the dark of his room. Iwaizumi promises to keep them secret and they grow closer again.

There’s a girl, among the other girls that come to watch him play, her hair is as dark as Iwaizumi’s. Tooru thinks it’s a good way to hide his feelings and they start dating. It’s over too soon. She says he’s only interested in volleyball but truth is he’s just not interested in her. Still, he cries and Iwaizumi’s there to make sure he’s ok. It’s only then that they kiss for the first time. Tooru thinks everything around him goes silent, everything stops in awe of how beautiful the kiss is. It’s not true, really. He’s still crying and Iwaizumi probably thinks he’s gross but they kiss.

It turns into listening to music on the floor of the room that used to belong to Tooru’s sister and kissing when they are sure Tooru’s brothers won’t walk in on them. It’s doing homework together and Iwaizumi leaving his jacket at Tooru’s house so much it stops being just Iwaizumi’s.

As soon as third year starts, Tooru injures his knee and they fight over how careless he is. Tooru knows it’s just worry, so he lets Iwaizumi yell and later they hold hands in the car even though Tooru’s mom can see them.

"Take care of my son" she whispers when Iwaizumi’s helping Tooru get out of the car. Tooru makes Iwaizumi stay the night; they leave the blinds open and look at the stars; it feels like the sky belongs to them alone.

***

It changes just before practice one day. Tooru walks up to Iwaizumi, the ball in his hands, and says, really quiet so no one could hear:

"I think Kyouken likes you." Iwaizumi looks at him with raised eyebrows and Tooru knows it’s because there’s no jealousy in his voice. Then, Iwaizumi turns to where Kyoutani is standing.

"Doesn’t matter," he says back. "I’m with you."

"It’s sad." Tooru tells him. "I don’t think Kyouken knows what it feels like to be liked."

***

It changes again just before graduation. This time, there’s crying because Kyoutani walks in on them kissing in the gym. Kissing before morning practice is their mistake, Tooru thinks, as they try to catch up. It’s only in the boys’ bathroom that they do.

"Hey" Iwaizumi says, the same quiet tone he uses when Tooru’s upset and suddenly Tooru wants to hold his hand but it might not be the best idea because Kyoutani is crying.

"I know that what you saw must be horrifying but I’m not as bad of a kisser as you think." Tooru tries and Iwaizumi looks at him as if he’s about to tell him to shut up so Tooru nods at him in apology.

"Why do you get everything?" Kyoutani asks and they turn back. "Why do you get to be on the team you want, to be called by a name you want? Why do you get a family that comes to see your games and…" Kyoutani lets the words trail off but looks at Iwaizumi for a moment before looking at the ground.

Then, both Tooru and Iwaizumi speak at the same time.

"Are you trans?" Tooru asks, a little too loud, as if excitement is curling around his words.

"What do you want to be called?" Iwaizumi. Tooru turns to him and smiles. He learned to ask the right questions.

"Yes." Kyoutani answers, voice shaking, looks at Iwaizumi. "I don’t know. Anything but my name."

"Okay." Tooru says, quietly, takes a small step closer. "Ken." he offers. "Does that fit? For now?" Ken nods and Tooru offers a small smile. "Pronouns, what about them?"

Ken looks at him and wipes off tears, Iwaizumi moves closer to them both but doesn’t take Tooru’s hand like he usually would.

"They and them." Ken says and then, very quietly, as if suddenly aware they’re in a public bathroom even if no one comes to school this early. "I’m a girl."

"Good." Tooru smiles and takes another step closer. "Do you want to go shopping for clothes?"

"I don’t have money." Ken says and they look down again. "My stepfather would never let me."

"Ok." Tooru reassures, another step closer, now close enough to touch them. "You can borrow my sister’s, she left a bunch because she couldn’t take all of it to college. And you can keep them at my house, my family won’t mind you coming over to change."

Tooru takes their hand, slow enough for them to pull it away if they want to, and it’s the first time they’ve really touched. Tooru leads, walks out of there and squeezes Ken’s hand. Iwaizumi follows them but stays quiet. He understands it’s something Ken and Tooru share and there’s no place for him in it.

***

They start staying after practice together and Ken eats dinner at the Oikawa household. Iwaizumi makes jokes about Ken being the only girl in their school that doesn’t fan over Tooru. Tooru pretends he’s offended, his brothers say it’s a relief and they all complement Ken when they wear clothes that used to belong to Tooru’s sister. After a month, it feels like this is how it was always supposed to be.

***

The next change comes when Tooru’s moving out and his family helps him carry boxes to the car, four of them filled with his sister’s clothes for when Ken visits. His brother drives him to pick Ken up. They park a street away and wait for Ken to get there. They come running and smile as soon as Tooru waves at them from the car.

There’s a surprise waiting at Tooru and Iwaizumi’s new flat. It’s an additional room for Ken. With a real bed, not the thing they have to sleep on at home. They carry boxes up to the third floor and wave Tooru’s brother goodbye before showing Ken that they now have a place. Ken cries and then they cry more when they see the other room, just for Tooru and Iwaizumi.

"I’m not really a part of your lives," they say sitting down on the bed. "I should stop wishing to be." And then, Iwaizumi kisses them while Tooru goes to make tea. They talked about this. A lot, actually, and it always came to one simple thing: they wanted Ken in their lives.

When Tooru comes back into the room, Iwaizumi and Ken are talking.

"Let’s make this work," he says putting the tea down. "It’s fine if you only like Iwaizumi as long as you don’t mind sharing."

Ken goes into the room that is now theirs. Iwaizumi holds Tooru’s hand.

"It’s natural that they need time to think." He whispers and Tooru nods, rests his head against Iwaizumi’s shoulder, wonders what will happen if Ken doesn’t want this.

Ten minutes later, he learns three things: 1. They do 2. They blush when they kiss. 3. They’re not very good at it.

"Was the kiss with Iwaizumi just now your first?" Tooru asks, his hand in Ken’s hair, the other holding Iwaizumi’s.

When Ken nods, Tooru and Iwaizumi show them how they do it. Then, there’s more kissing and a lot of more talking. By the time Iwaizumi has to drive Ken home, all of them are dating.

When Iwaizumi comes home, an hour later, he asks why Tooru still calls him by his last name.

"Hajime." Tooru purrs and it feels right.

***

At first, it grows slowly. Ken cannot stay the night because their parents will ask questions and the days that both Hajime and Tooru don’t have classes are rare. They make it work, still. Sometimes Tooru comes home to Hajime and Ken napping, Iwaizumi’s coffee gone cold in the kitchen or college work abandoned on the table. Other times, it’s Hajime that comes home to them. Usually, Tooru’s still doing things on his laptop and Ken is sitting behind him, arms around Tooru’s waist and their head on his shoulder.

There are also the bad days when Tooru comes home to find Ken curled up on the bed, not the one that belongs to them but the one that smells like Hajime and Tooru. They have blankets over them and Tooru drops his bag next to where his coat hangs, goes to sit next to them.

"Do you want to talk?" he asks every time and every time he gets no answer, Ken just curls up more. "Okay," Tooru whispers. "I won’t ask."

He doesn’t have to ask, he knows. It’s not hard to get. Ken has bags under their eyes and bruises, bruises that come not from volleyball practice but from having a family that doesn’t know how to love you and if Tooru could, he’d find Ken’s stepfather just to tell him-

He wouldn’t tell him a thing. If he could, he’d take Ken away, keep them for himself and Hajime, for the people who care. He cannot and Ken promises it’s fine, there’s only about a year of this left anyway.

They keep it a secret from Hajime, never tell him about the bruises or about Ken skipping school to lock themself in the apartment that waits, the apartment that welcomes and smells like home, like it should smell. They keep it a secret because Hajime would not stay calm, would not wait a year to make sure Ken is safe.

"It’s easier this way." Ken promises. Easier for whom, Tooru thinks as he’s putting ointment on the bruises. For him and Hajime. It’s easier to wait a year than to spend it fighting. Those nights he sleeps in Ken’s room and tells Hajime it’s just a bad day and Hajime never asks because he probably knows. Deep down, the same way Tooru knew before Ken told him. It’s easier not asking. Maybe, after all those years Tooru’s selfishness has reached parts of Hajime’s heart too.

***

Ken volunteers at an animal shelter, has been doing it every weekend for about a year now. It limits their time together but Ken is happy and that means so are Tooru and Hajime. They drive to pick Ken up, Tooru sits in the back and they leave the front for Ken. Tooru complains and whines, tells Hajime that he spoils Ken too much but he doesn’t mind, really.

This weekend, they get out of the car instead of just waiting in it and Ken greets them at the back door. They’re holding a bag of cat food and there’s a cat sitting on the ground, meowing. Loud.

"Reminds me of you." Hajime tells Tooru, smirking and Tooru pretends to be hurt, goes to pet the cat while Ken and Hajime talk. It jumps into his arms and stops meowing for a moment. Tooru takes it as a sign that it likes him.

"We should adopt it." Tooru says, interrupting Hajime, who’s telling Ken about something that happened while Tooru had dozed off on the way here.

"Absolutely not." Hajime answers without even looking at him. "I don’t need another whiny baby in the house."

"Rude." Tooru scoffs, puts the cat on the ground and stands up. "You’re really rude, Iwa."

"It’s because I have to deal with you." Hajime smiles and then, even though they’re still outside, he takes Tooru’s hand in his.

"This is nice." Ken smiles, which is rare and Tooru turns to look, smiles back.

"I love you." Tooru says, a little too loud but it’s fine. Hajime squeezes his hand in agreement.

Then, there’s barking behind the closed shelter door and Ken smiles wider.

"Let’s go," they say. "I’ll show you my favorite dog."

***

Ken’s graduation cannot come fast enough and Tooru is fidgeting the whole morning.

"Calm down." Hajime whispers, kissing his shoulder while Tooru’s making breakfast. "There’s nothing to be nervous about."

"Of course there is." Tooru answers. "Ken will be moving in." He turns and realizes Hajime is standing a little too close so his head ends up on Hajime’s shoulder. "What if they don’t like it here or can’t sleep?"

"Your eggs will burn." Hajime says and then, quieter now, "Ken has already spent a lot of time here."

"Yes but never at night or-"

"Calm down." Hajime repeats. "It’s a good day, act like it is."

They cannot go to the graduation because there will be people they know and they will ask questions no one will want to answer but they wait in the car just a street away. Tooru keeps looking through the window and checking his phone. Hajime holds his hand and Tooru knows he’s just as nervous.

When Ken finally shows up, Tooru jumps out of the car to let them have the front seat but before he moves to the back, he hugs Ken even though they’re in the middle of the street.

"People will see." Ken says but hugs back. "Let’s go" they whisper. I don’t want my stepfather to get home first.

"Ok" Tooru answers and they get in the car.

Ten minutes later they’re throwing Ken’s stuff in boxes. Only two, for they barely have anything, and Tooru pretends it doesn’t make him sad. It’s a happy day, he thinks, calm down, all in Hajime’s voice.

Ken leaves a post-it note that says goodbye. The only sign of them ever being there and they put their key under the mat.

Tooru wants to ask if they’ll miss it but figures it’s better not to so they leave in silence.

"Should we get something to eat?" Hajime asks, starting the car.

"No, let’s go home." Ken answers.

Home, Tooru thinks.

"Yeah" he says. "Let’s go home."


End file.
